SAM’s Story…

1994…2nd week of September…I’m walking in Lexington Avenue, Midtown Manhattan, NYC…gorgeous weather.
I saw a pet shop and the cutest little puppy in the window.

Now I have to tell you, I had no clue about “rescuing animals” back in those days… I was in deep deep sleep.
(Hey, I was eating them, of course I could have no clue rescuing them ?!)

Got inside the store…with the desire of holding him.
And asked them why his tail is this short ? :)
He looked just like a toy puppy that I used to have and LOVE
that my Dad gave me when I was very little.
He was just 6 weeks old, with a big pink belly that could easily fit in the palm of my hand.

I have to squeeze another little but important info here by the way so you can understand the situation better ;
when I was only 2 years old, I got bit by a little poodle who just had babies and I attempted to pet them so as nature’s law, of course, she tried to protect the babies and bit me.
So I had to get rabies shots on my stomach etc. and this little
traumatic incident turned into a phobia and all my life, even though I adored them and always wanted to have some kind of relationship with them, I was always scared by literally all animals actually but specifically dogs.

So I was trying to break that phobia with may be a very -calm dog- because like I said I LOVED them and while growing up in an apartment in Istanbul, we’ve never had any pets whatsoever.
(My Parents always believed that all animals should be in nature which is very true actually!)

Moral of the story, I “bought” one of the greatest LOVES of my life, that little firecracker, far away from being calm, a very Handsome… extremely Intelligent Jack Russell Terrier, my little SAM.


I don’t have children. Not by choice but I’ve never had or
never was able to host another soul in my womb.
Obviously God has had other plans in this department.

We often see little videos about how different species adopt each other. Like a dog nursing tiger cubs…an elephant who can not live without his little goat friend etc.
So over the 14 years that we’ve lived together with this little soul, I literally experienced that feeling in first hand.
Now, I don’t know if somebody who already has her own children can experience my exact feelings and that’s totally understandable of course but…that little dog became my child.

Animals are here, on this Earth for a purpose.
And it is far, far away from being our “food”!
They are Teachers…Nature is The Master.

We have similar nervous systems so we all feel the pain in the same way, we both have brains and desire to live.
One thing that Animals don’t have though but we certainly do, is The EGO!
When you take the ego out…the LOVE you’ll experience is beyond any description.

Even if you’ve never had the privilege to live with an Animal, I’m sure you’ve heard about the “unconditional Love” Animals give.
That means they don’t have rules or inquiries to love you.
You don’t need to look in a certain way or have some amount of money in your bank account. They don’t care!
They’re always, always Happy to see You.
They can not speak our exact languages but their eyes do.
And they certainly understand the words we say and our behaviors.
They comfort us in their own way.

The day my little SAM passed away in my arms, very unexpectedly, I couldn’t let him go.
All day…I was holding his dead body just like a mother mourning for her child.
Although I’ve had experiences of so many deaths of my Beloved ones in my life before…including my own Father…I’ve never experienced a deep sorrow like this till that day!!

At the end of the day when David & I finally put him to rest,
in a beautiful spot in nature where he belongs to, we came home and realized that we didn’t eat anything all day.
Now, when you have a deep deep pain like this one,
you don’t even think to eat anything, it is natural and we certainly weren’t going to eat anything animal related but all of a sudden, I will never forget that moment as long as I live, something, some feeling or that inner voice…the intuition came to my head and I told David that there is no way for me to have one more bite of meat from that day on.

I know it sounds weird but the day I gave him back to the soil, something simply clicked in my mind!
You might think what’s the relationship between SAM’s dying and you’re not eating meat anymore ??
I don’t know!

But it was like SAM sent me a signal for all the Animal Kingdom that day. It was like…he became a messenger for them and said :
Start searching HOW the animals come to your plate!!!!
There is a HUGE SORROW behind the scenes,
check that out please!…for me…

Now, again, I know it will sound ridiculous but I believe there are still millions of people like me out there :
I had absolutely NO idea where that shiny package of “meat” that we call “food “ for some reason ? came from!!

Growing up as a big meat eater, I had no intention or knowledge to quit eating meat up to that point.

I told David that I would cook for him separately but it is impossible for me to eat meat anymore.
His answer was :
-No way! This is a very noble thing you’re doing, I am totally with you. No more meat for both of us!-

I love him so much!!!!

This is the Internet era and staying ignorant is a choice and
almost impossible actually.
So the very next day…I did find out…“HOW”!
And that was the moment of my Awakening.

You see, in life…Everything happens for A Reason!
One of The Worst days of my life turned out to be the very First day of my incredible journey to gain my health back.

From that day on, whenever I see a bag of sausage which I used to drool for before, I immediately make -the connection- between that pound of sausage that used to be one of those Beautiful Animals which are actually as smart as your dog or cat that you would NEVER under ANY circumstances, even consider to eat!

For that bottle of  milk…a Mother lost her baby!
Right after she gave birth!! Within hours!!!!
For that cheese you’re addicted to or yogurt, you think it’s a “health food” because you’ve been brainwashed by the industry, it is produced from not your own species but another female was unwillingly impregnated. (which is in the literature, called rape!)
And after 9 months! she carried her baby just like humans!!, right after she gave birth (don’t forget they have the same ability to feel pain!)her baby was ripped away from her and the mother cow was connected to the milking machines for the rest of her life till she can not endure anymore, then she gets killed and becomes “food”.
(Remember you have to have a Baby to be able to lactate!)

Oh, did you know what happens to the baby ???
If it’s a male, he’s useless…he gets slaughtered and become “food”, if it’s a female, instead of having the milk from her own Mother which is designed for her, she now has to get used to eating grains and when she become an adult,
her torture cycle begins.

What kind of SICK society have we created ?!
I’m not even talking about the poor chickens…The HELL they’re going through their whole life!! The Fish!
There are numerous books, documentaries (which you can check them out in the -resources- section here on my site actually, under the menu for your comfort) web sites, Instagram accounts with graphic images (which at least once in your life you might have to see it!) so this is not the place to tell you all about this but it was just a touch.

I mean…I had to wake up with a traumatic experience like this myself.
But once you’re awake…there is no way to return!

Next day, when we visited Sam’s grave…which I religiously did every day till we left NYC for the west coast…I tried SO hard not to lose my sanity and dig up the ground just to be able to see him one last time!

Then we noticed something…a butterfly shape carving (by nature!) on the tree that he was buried under.
That was another sign… he was saying I’m free now…
there is nothing to worry about.

When I was reading these pages to David earlier…a Beautiful butterfly appeared out of nowhere in our living room!!
The doors were closed and we have screens on every window.
Although the only butterflies we have seen in our area were Monarch’s and little white ones, this one was a big dark blue with yellow lines on the tip of his wings…a butterfly we’ve never seen before!
We checked his name…it was “Mourning Cloak”.


I have to finish my SAMMY’s story with something special…

Pass forward 7 years…when we got the keys for this house we’re living in right now, almost 2 years ago…first day…we’re standing outside…something touched my leg and I heard a meowing at the same time. I looked down and saw a little tabby cat, later we were told by the neighbor that he was around 4-5 months old.

Because they were feeding him for the last couple of months, outside, they also named him. They said his name is ALVIN…now…again these people who we’ve never seen before in our lives…gave that little stray cat literally OUR name!
Our last name is VALIN!! :)

Neither David nor me ever had a cat before in our lives.
And we had no intention to have any pet whatsoever to be honest.
So we started to feed him because he would never leave.
Like 6 am in the morning we used to find him sleeping on the deck, in fetal position…12 midnight… he was at the same spot.

After couple of weeks past by, weather was getting really cold. We took him in. And because he was a stray cat, I had no idea what kind of condition our house will be in when we woke up in the morning but everything was just like the way we left a night before.

Couple of months past by…we decided to take him to the vet for a check up…they asked us his birthday.
We said he was a stray cat so we have no idea, you’re gonna have to tell us, we said.

When we came home…I checked the little book that they gave us for his birthday…it was the day that my little SAM left his earthly body!

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